Sunday, November 3, 2013

Toilets


  1. While you know the water in the back tank doesn't have pee or poop in it, you know you still treat it like it does.
  2. Fixing toilet problems (not including plunging) is about the best ratio of effort to satisfaction of any house hold appliance.
  3. Who came up with white as a good color for toilets anyway?  They show everything!  What about an earthy paisley where you can hide all human waste colors in?
  4. While the toilet flapper is a critical piece in the functioning of the toilet, it is also the funniest name of any such critical piece of any critical household appliance.
  5. A toilet used by two boys is somehow exponentially grosser than a toilet used by one.
  6. The backsplash from plunging is the worst experience as a homeowner.  Period.
  7. The rule is always keep the seat down so you don't accidentally fall in (girls mainly).  But shouldn't it be always keep it up so your 5 year old doesn't accidentally pee on the seat.  I feel I could make a very compelling argument either way.
  8. When a toilet flushes, then fills up successfully after a fix, there are very few sounds that are as satisfying.  Probably none.
  9. Eau de toilette is "a weak perfume"  I have never understood that.  No toilet water I ever experienced was worth putting on my skin after shaving.
  10. You sit on it, let yourself go, then pull a handle on the side, then feel satisfied.  Toilet, or La-Z-Boy?

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